


Dog Years and Human Years

by poolsidescientist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e04 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, Gen, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poolsidescientist/pseuds/poolsidescientist
Summary: Scully brings Queequeg home and contemplates her recent case. Set after Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclamer: I do not own the X-Files.

Dog food, a leash, newspapers, a crate, and a blanket to sleep on; the new additions to her apartment sat in grocery bags next to the front door. All except for one, the pomeranian, which lay panting on her lap as she watched television. Queequeg. His name was Queequeg, after the character in Moby Dick. Mulder had wanted to name him ‘The Stupendous Yapper’ but she had firmly vetoed that idea.

Yappi…as she thought of the narcissistic Hollywood pseudo-psychic his face flashed onto her TV screen in the form of an infomercial. And to think, her own sister was a fan. Subconsciously she picked up the phone to call Melissa, it had been a while since they had spoken. Oh right. She couldn’t call Melissa. She could never call Melissa again.

In a moment of frustration, Scully flung her phone at the television. A frightened Queequeg leaped off of her lap, panting more heavily and anxiously than before. The poor dog had no idea why she was so upset. He would never meet Melissa but Scully was sure that Melissa would have liked him. Melissa liked all animals. Just like their mother. Scully wondered if her mother was still awake. It was almost midnight but neither of them were getting much sleep these days. Turning off the television and turning on a light she took a deep breath and picked up the phone. She sat back on the couch with Queequeg promptly jumping back onto her lap. It was nice to have company, Scully thought, smiling lightly as she dialed her mother’s number. Sure enough, Maggie Scully picked up.

“Dana, is that you?” Her mother answered groggily, she must have woken her up.

“Yeah mom, it’s me. I…umm…” Scully stammered; she wasn’t quite sure what to say first.

“Is everything okay Dana?” Maggie Scully inquired in the most motherly tone she could muster.

“I think so. I met the stupendous Yappi on a case, you know, that psychic Melissa always followed? OhmyGodIalmostcalledMelissathisisallmyfaultImisshersomuch-“ Scully felt hot tears pour down her face as she spoke.

“I miss her too. Everywhere I go something reminds me of her. I’m glad you called though, we both need to talk about it.”

“First dad and now this,” it had been a few years for the Scully family.

“Losing your father was hard enough, but we had a full life together: a good life. Melissa never got that chance. I always thought she would there at my funeral, not the other way around.”

“It should have been me mom, that bullet was meant for me. I’m so sorry.”

“Nonsense!” Her mother snapped. “That bullet shouldn’t have been for either of you! How dare those monsters come after my children! They’re the ones to blame, not you. Neither of you deserved to be hunted like animals!”

“I know that, I know that in my head. But it still hurts. I wish I could go back, I wish I had known, I wish-“ Scully exhaled, her fingers buried in Queequeg’s soft orange fur, “I just hate being helpless.”

“I do too Dana, I do too. All we can do is trust God and honour her memory. Accept the pain of losing her as a sign of our love. But dammit I miss her so much!” Scully could hear her mother’s tears from over the phone. She felt guilty for bringing up such a difficult topic so late at night.

“Mom, do you want to come over for tea tomorrow afternoon? I have a bit of paperwork to do but I should be done by noon. Both of us could use some sleep.”

“I would like that, I’ll pick up some of those orange-cranberry scones from that bakery you like.” Maggie Scully suggested before yawning into the phone. “I guess I’m tired tonight.”

“Thanks mom,” Scully was eternally grateful for her mother, “can I ask you something?”

“Alright, I guess?”

“If you could, would you want to live forever?”

“You’re starting to sound like your partner Dana,” Scully could swear her mother was smirking on the other end of the phone. “And no, I would hate to live forever. In heaven with everyone I love is one thing, but life is hard enough as it is. Outliving everyone you love while losing track of all the normal transitions that make life meaningful sounds like more of a punishment than anything else. Grief is hard enough for a normal lifetime. I would hate an eternity of it. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering about stuff, I guess I’m really tired. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, sleep well.”

“Goodnight mom”. And with that, she hung up the phone. Scully didn’t have the energy to explain Bruckman’s words to her mother. She barely understood them herself. They couldn’t be true could they? Immortality was not within the realm of possibility, at least not for the human race. Scully couldn’t help but rub her eyes with confusion at the thought.

She looked down at Queequeg. He had stopped panting and had fallen asleep on her lap. Her mother would be surprised to see him tomorrow, she had meant to tell her about the dog but that would have to wait.

He looked so small and innocent in his sleep, almost like a puppy. Scully had no idea how old the dog was but he looked in good form. ‘Either way you’ll outlive him’, she thought to herself darkly. Dog lives were only a fraction of the length of human lives. Dog years passed by much faster than human years, their lives so much shorter. Unfortunately, human lives could be short too. People died before their time all the time. People like Melissa. And their deaths broke hearts all the same. Human years could feel as short as dog years sometimes. Scully couldn’t help but question Clyde Bruckman’s assertion that she would live forever. She thought of her mother who she would probably outlive, and her brothers, and Mulder who has come too close to death too many times and whose luck was bound to run out eventually. Maybe she would outlive them all. Maybe she wouldn’t live forever. Maybe it would only feel like forever.


End file.
